We all know that we should read to our children; no one doubts the value of this anymore. But there is still the eternal question of who should do the reading? My son used to prefer mum as the reader because “Dad reads with little expression” he declared. Now that’s nice, and although I was flattered, I could not be persuaded to take on the task alone. Let’s face it. On bad days, all I want is to crawl into bed after dinner instead of pouring over several chapters of Harry Potter and his angsty adventures. I needed Dad to do his part. And thank goodness he did and this was especially useful when Junior wanted to read history or science books.
But in case the dad in your home needs more persuasion or you need more ammunition to get dad to join in the act, let me suggest Jane Baskill’s new book Getting Dads on Board, (Stenhouse Publishers). In addition, Stenhouse Publishers has an interesting article on how to get dads to pitch in and do the bedtime reading. Read all about it here:
I know for a fact that Junior benefitted tremendously from his nightly reading rituals with mum and dad. Bedtime reading with dad has been extra special for Junior not just for the literary benefits but also for the sharing, the talking, the laughing, the snuggling and the many countless pleasures that can only come when two people focus their attention on each other and a book and nothing else.
Try it tonight.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Positive Discipline
Following on from my last post about teaching good manners and humility, here is a useful resource for parents and teachers.
Marvin Marshall, author of “Discipline without Stress - How Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility and Learning” has a very useful newsletter that you can subscribe to. Dr Marshall’s book focuses on the importance of internal motivation in changing behaviour, and he believes that this is more effective than rewards and punishment. He has a companion book for parents, Parenting without Stress- How to raise responsible kids while keeping a life of your own. Both books are available from Amazon or from his website www.MarvinMarshall.com.
Dr Marshall also sends out a very informative newsletter. This month, he answered questions at an interview. Here are 2 questions taken from the interview and reproduced in his newsletter (MarvinMarshall.com):
QUESTION:
What might be three key guidelines that a teacher could keep in mind, or on a small index card, to help remind him/her to stay more positive in the classroom?
RESPONSE:
1. Ask yourself, "Will the person hearing your communication interpret what you say in positive terms?"
2. Ask yourself, "Will the person feel as if I am using coercion in any way?"
3. Ask yourself, "What can I ASK so that the person will feel that I am giving a CHOICE and that I am prompting the person to REFLECT?
QUESTION:
What are a few key mistakes do you think teachers tend to make around classroom management?
RESPONSE:
1. They ASSUME students know what the teacher wants the students to do WITHOUT first modelling, practicing, and reinforcing the procedure to do what is being taught.
2. They confuse classroom management (teaching procedures to make instruction efficient) with discipline (how students behave).
3. They assume that discipline is naturally negative. Not necessarily so! The best discipline is the type where the person doesn't even realize that discipline is being employed.
The newsletter has a section for parents too. To read other interesting snippets and advice, and to subscribe to the newsletter, click here.
Marvin Marshall, author of “Discipline without Stress - How Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility and Learning” has a very useful newsletter that you can subscribe to. Dr Marshall’s book focuses on the importance of internal motivation in changing behaviour, and he believes that this is more effective than rewards and punishment. He has a companion book for parents, Parenting without Stress- How to raise responsible kids while keeping a life of your own. Both books are available from Amazon or from his website www.MarvinMarshall.com.
Dr Marshall also sends out a very informative newsletter. This month, he answered questions at an interview. Here are 2 questions taken from the interview and reproduced in his newsletter (MarvinMarshall.com):
QUESTION:
What might be three key guidelines that a teacher could keep in mind, or on a small index card, to help remind him/her to stay more positive in the classroom?
RESPONSE:
1. Ask yourself, "Will the person hearing your communication interpret what you say in positive terms?"
2. Ask yourself, "Will the person feel as if I am using coercion in any way?"
3. Ask yourself, "What can I ASK so that the person will feel that I am giving a CHOICE and that I am prompting the person to REFLECT?
QUESTION:
What are a few key mistakes do you think teachers tend to make around classroom management?
RESPONSE:
1. They ASSUME students know what the teacher wants the students to do WITHOUT first modelling, practicing, and reinforcing the procedure to do what is being taught.
2. They confuse classroom management (teaching procedures to make instruction efficient) with discipline (how students behave).
3. They assume that discipline is naturally negative. Not necessarily so! The best discipline is the type where the person doesn't even realize that discipline is being employed.
The newsletter has a section for parents too. To read other interesting snippets and advice, and to subscribe to the newsletter, click here.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Good manners and some humility
Recently, I conducted a couple of courses on teaching high ability students for teachers from one of the school clusters here. As always, I begin by asking them what issues they have and what they would like their high ability students to learn. Teachers from one school wrote on their flip chart unhesitatingly - good manners and some humility.
I didn’t laugh at their request although I regretfully wasn’t able to fulfil it. But it’s true to a certain extent isn’t it, that some of our brighter students are neither humble nor well-mannered. Having taught some of the best junior college students myself ( some of whom are important people in the Establishment now), I remember how challenging it was to deal with young people who were bright, egocentric, well-heeled, and who believed that anyone over twenty five had nothing to teach them. I was barely eight years older than my students then, and if I did get along well with them, it was mostly through some shared interests in books and music, and through my well-rehearsed big sister act, courtesy of years of minding seven younger siblings at home. I am happy to report that several former students became good friends.
But I didn’t teach them humility; I don’t know if I could do that. Perhaps one could do this by example, but too much of humble behaviour can sometimes result in one being labelled a wimp. You know what happens to wimpish teachers, don’t you? They are eaten alive in class and deservedly so I think. Woah, that’s cruel, YM, you say but the truth is, I’d rather have no teacher than a wimpish, wishy-washy one.
Some teachers say that the only way to teach humility is to mark students down in their work and ruthlessly expose their ignorance or shortcomings. But students don’t learn humility that way; they only learn to resent you.
But sometimes that’s the game students and teachers play. Students will eye a teacher, test her out with some outrageous request, question or action and then watch for the reaction. If the teacher gives the desired or the unexpected response, her standing may rise or fall in the students’ eyes. And isn’t that still the game that we play in the classroom? Sometimes rapport develops over a shared interest, a mutual understanding, and even a mutual liking or respect and then a relationship is forged that might make it through the years and evolve into a friendship. This is one of the fringe benefits of being a teacher.
Like all relationships, there is always mutual give and take in the student-teacher relationship. And in most cases, it’s the teacher who leads the way. Have you ever asked or wondered what a teacher has to offer her students? The more cynical of you may say that in this age where academic results are always the priority, perhaps a plateful of A stars is the only answer. That’s sad, isn’t it and so not true. Many of us (old and young teachers) would remember our great teachers. They never offered us stars, but yet we never suffered academically under them either. To ensure that the students under our charge fulfil their potential has always been the number one rule in our teaching creed; no responsible teacher will let a child’s academic results suffer. But our teachers offered us more than facts and figures. They offered us their thoughts, beliefs, values, dreams, and their passion for whatever they were teaching. And they offered these with sincerity.
For each special teacher I recall, I remember them not so much for the lessons (a few were superb teachers though) but more for their humanity and their willingness to share their lives and loves. Simon and Garfunkel’s songs and poetry were introduced to me by a young nun and the music of this duo has travelled with me all my life since my teens. My literature teacher shared her love for T.S. Eliot and at an age where the words “I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled” meant absolutely nothing, Eliot’s view of an emotional wasteland still has a tremendous impact on my life. Other teachers were willing to take me under their wings and showed me a different world, showed me things I could do, and helped me believe in myself. Others just became role models through their behaviour and practice.
Years ago, while short listing the entries for The Caring Teacher awards, I came across a letter from a primary school pupil who said that her teacher taught her the importance of leaving a legacy. Many of you will recognise this as one of the key ideas from Stephen R. Covey (author of The Seven Habits of Effective People). Here is the complete quote:
There are certain things that are fundamental to human fulfilment. The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase ‘to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy’.
I remember going “wow!” How many teachers will think this an important lesson for primary school students? And how many times did she teach this for a child to remember it so well?
In an age where teachers are increasingly challenged by their young students, it seems like it’s harder and harder to earn their respect and command their attention, let alone their admiration. Have we reached a stage where we have nothing more to teach our students but the facts and figures and nothing more to offer but the A-stars? I feel sad that we are reduced to being purveyors of information and experts at scoring in exams. It is hard to keep up with kids who are born with a wire in their ear and a mouse glued to their fingers. You can’t know everything and you can’t keep up with them. But is this what the game is about?
No, not really. If this were the case, then just have computers not teachers in the classroom. As teachers, we are not expected to be the know-it-all although we should know enough to do our job well. Teaching is about relationships. And having to deal with 40 individuals with their own minds on a daily basis is enough to wear down even the toughest among us. We have to love our job and love the students for the job to mean something beyond a rice bowl. Do we still need to offer them more?
No, but we can. We can offer them friendship. We can open their eyes and their minds. We can lift their spirits. We can offer hope and we can show them the possibilities. Yes, their parents give them that too but not every child gets it. And it doesn’t hurt if a child gets an extra dose. And if they lack good manners and humility, we can also offer these for it’s obvious that they are not getting enough of this from home.
So my teachers are right in wanting their brighter students to learn good manners and some humility. These are wonderful and desirable subjects to add to a curriculum for all students, not just the bright ones. The truly intelligent among them will see the need for such lessons; others I’m afraid will take a little longer. So while I have no concrete suggestions for how this can be done for now, I would say, don’t give up on teaching students these values. Having said that, I must add that good manners can always be taught by example; humility is a tad harder.
But hey, I don’t always have to have the answer to every problem. But I am sure some of you do have some thoughts about this, so do share!
I didn’t laugh at their request although I regretfully wasn’t able to fulfil it. But it’s true to a certain extent isn’t it, that some of our brighter students are neither humble nor well-mannered. Having taught some of the best junior college students myself ( some of whom are important people in the Establishment now), I remember how challenging it was to deal with young people who were bright, egocentric, well-heeled, and who believed that anyone over twenty five had nothing to teach them. I was barely eight years older than my students then, and if I did get along well with them, it was mostly through some shared interests in books and music, and through my well-rehearsed big sister act, courtesy of years of minding seven younger siblings at home. I am happy to report that several former students became good friends.
But I didn’t teach them humility; I don’t know if I could do that. Perhaps one could do this by example, but too much of humble behaviour can sometimes result in one being labelled a wimp. You know what happens to wimpish teachers, don’t you? They are eaten alive in class and deservedly so I think. Woah, that’s cruel, YM, you say but the truth is, I’d rather have no teacher than a wimpish, wishy-washy one.
Some teachers say that the only way to teach humility is to mark students down in their work and ruthlessly expose their ignorance or shortcomings. But students don’t learn humility that way; they only learn to resent you.
But sometimes that’s the game students and teachers play. Students will eye a teacher, test her out with some outrageous request, question or action and then watch for the reaction. If the teacher gives the desired or the unexpected response, her standing may rise or fall in the students’ eyes. And isn’t that still the game that we play in the classroom? Sometimes rapport develops over a shared interest, a mutual understanding, and even a mutual liking or respect and then a relationship is forged that might make it through the years and evolve into a friendship. This is one of the fringe benefits of being a teacher.
Like all relationships, there is always mutual give and take in the student-teacher relationship. And in most cases, it’s the teacher who leads the way. Have you ever asked or wondered what a teacher has to offer her students? The more cynical of you may say that in this age where academic results are always the priority, perhaps a plateful of A stars is the only answer. That’s sad, isn’t it and so not true. Many of us (old and young teachers) would remember our great teachers. They never offered us stars, but yet we never suffered academically under them either. To ensure that the students under our charge fulfil their potential has always been the number one rule in our teaching creed; no responsible teacher will let a child’s academic results suffer. But our teachers offered us more than facts and figures. They offered us their thoughts, beliefs, values, dreams, and their passion for whatever they were teaching. And they offered these with sincerity.
For each special teacher I recall, I remember them not so much for the lessons (a few were superb teachers though) but more for their humanity and their willingness to share their lives and loves. Simon and Garfunkel’s songs and poetry were introduced to me by a young nun and the music of this duo has travelled with me all my life since my teens. My literature teacher shared her love for T.S. Eliot and at an age where the words “I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled” meant absolutely nothing, Eliot’s view of an emotional wasteland still has a tremendous impact on my life. Other teachers were willing to take me under their wings and showed me a different world, showed me things I could do, and helped me believe in myself. Others just became role models through their behaviour and practice.
Years ago, while short listing the entries for The Caring Teacher awards, I came across a letter from a primary school pupil who said that her teacher taught her the importance of leaving a legacy. Many of you will recognise this as one of the key ideas from Stephen R. Covey (author of The Seven Habits of Effective People). Here is the complete quote:
There are certain things that are fundamental to human fulfilment. The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase ‘to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy’.
I remember going “wow!” How many teachers will think this an important lesson for primary school students? And how many times did she teach this for a child to remember it so well?
In an age where teachers are increasingly challenged by their young students, it seems like it’s harder and harder to earn their respect and command their attention, let alone their admiration. Have we reached a stage where we have nothing more to teach our students but the facts and figures and nothing more to offer but the A-stars? I feel sad that we are reduced to being purveyors of information and experts at scoring in exams. It is hard to keep up with kids who are born with a wire in their ear and a mouse glued to their fingers. You can’t know everything and you can’t keep up with them. But is this what the game is about?
No, not really. If this were the case, then just have computers not teachers in the classroom. As teachers, we are not expected to be the know-it-all although we should know enough to do our job well. Teaching is about relationships. And having to deal with 40 individuals with their own minds on a daily basis is enough to wear down even the toughest among us. We have to love our job and love the students for the job to mean something beyond a rice bowl. Do we still need to offer them more?
No, but we can. We can offer them friendship. We can open their eyes and their minds. We can lift their spirits. We can offer hope and we can show them the possibilities. Yes, their parents give them that too but not every child gets it. And it doesn’t hurt if a child gets an extra dose. And if they lack good manners and humility, we can also offer these for it’s obvious that they are not getting enough of this from home.
So my teachers are right in wanting their brighter students to learn good manners and some humility. These are wonderful and desirable subjects to add to a curriculum for all students, not just the bright ones. The truly intelligent among them will see the need for such lessons; others I’m afraid will take a little longer. So while I have no concrete suggestions for how this can be done for now, I would say, don’t give up on teaching students these values. Having said that, I must add that good manners can always be taught by example; humility is a tad harder.
But hey, I don’t always have to have the answer to every problem. But I am sure some of you do have some thoughts about this, so do share!
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