Learning to write from real books in the Stellar Programme (Part 2)

Last week, I wrote about helping pupils to understand and learn about story structure from Owl Babies.  Apart from the story structure, there are other useful details that pupils can learn from the story about writing.  Owl Babies provides a good example of how to use dialogues.

 Let me begin by compiling the dialogues by each of the owl babies.  

“Where’s Mummy?” asked Sarah
“I think she’s gone hunting,” said Sarah
“She’ll be back,” said Sarah
“She’ll bring us mice and things that are nice,” said Sarah
“I think we should all sit on my branch,” said Sarah
“Suppose she got lost,” said Sarah
“I knew it,” said Sarah

“Oh my goodness!” said Percy
“To get us some food,” said Percy
“Back soon!” said Percy
“I suppose so,” said Percy
“Or a fox got her,” said Percy
“And I knew it,” said Percy

“I want my mummy!” said Bill
“I want my mummy!” said Bill
“I want my mummy!” said Bill
“I want my mummy!” said Bill
“I want my mummy!” said Bill
“I love my mummy!” said Bill

Looking at these dialogues, you can tell that Sarah is the oldest baby owl and that she called the shots most of the time. Percy supported her by echoing her views or reinforcing them. Bill is clearly the baby who says the same thing all the time except at the end. The dialogues tell us more about the characters which the story does not. Choosing the right dialogue for each character helps the development of the character and the plot of the story. Bill’s last statement tells us indirectly what they have learnt from the whole episode- that they love their mummy.

Once children understand this, help them to craft some short dialogues to flesh out their characters and the storyline.  Try to make the dialogue realistic; avoid stilted expressions like “Oh my goodness” which many young people don’t use. Repetition, like Bill’s constant “I want my mummy” can be quite effective too.

Another valuable lesson from the book is the use of descriptions and of showing not telling. For instance, the author described their hole as one with “twigs, leaves and owl feathers”. You can infer from these details that the hole wasn’t a mere hole; it was a comfortable home. Here are more questions to help pupils see how the author shows emotions and actions.

·         When they woke up and found their mother gone, how did they feel?

·         How did the author show this instead of telling you they were worried?  

·         Later, which part of the baby owls’ actions told you they were getting anxious?

·         Why did Sarah say that they should all sit on her branch instead of on separate branches?

·         Why did the baby owls close their eyes?

·         And when their mother returned, how did you know they were happy?

All these questions help pupils to see that showing helps the readers to be more engaged with the story than telling. Merely saying the owls were happy has less of an impact than

“Mummy!” they cried, and they flapped and they danced, and they bounced up and down on their branch.

So, going back to our original plans, how can they show the happy kittens? What would the relieved Nadera say or do when she found her mother? Once pupils are able to write some short dialogues, these can be incorporated into the actual story.

Now using plan B, I can help pupils to craft a story following the structure of the book and the sentence patterns used in the book. For the introduction, I could write:

Characters and Setting	Once, there were two baby kittens: Kitty and Percy. They lived in a basket in a garden shed with their Cat Mother. The basket was made of straw. It had soft rags in it. It was their house. (Note: Encourage pupils to add details to make the descriptions vivid)
Problem	One afternoon, they came home from playing in the garden and found Cat Mother GONE. “Where’s mum?” asked Kitty. “ Mummy, mummy!” said Percy. (Note: I left out “Oh my goodness” because in my world, kittens don’t talk like that.)

The story can now be further developed following the plan we’ve made. It’s always easier to write a first draft and then revise it to include dialogue and descriptions.  There can be variations made to parts of the story; don’t be afraid to improvise. Pupils can have many interesting ideas; for example, they may suggest changes to some of the dialogue. Finally, they can also write a conclusion that parallels that in the original story.

Following the joint construction of the first story, pupils are now ready to write their own individual parallel version. They can choose any of the plans you have brainstormed earlier. Weaker pupils can be encouraged to write in pairs, but they all follow the model that is given. Again, emphasise the planning first.

What I have suggested here can fill several lessons, and they are meant for a series of lessons not just one. Pupils can also be taught with different books but using the same approach. For instance, I can deconstruct any storybook once I know how to do that. I can also explore the use of dialogue with any other story, so this need not all be taught with Owl Babies.

As a teacher, I need to be able to pull out what is useful in a story for my pupils to emulate. Every story presents interesting story elements that can be studied. These in turn can be recycled into pupils’ writing. Try not to teach too many things in one lesson.  After you’ve done a draft of the story, use another lesson to revise and add dialogue to the story. You don’t need a lot of dialogue. A few lines may suffice for these young writers.

I understand that some of you may think this is too difficult for P2 pupils. Well, you decide. I know many P2 pupils who are ready for this. And if they are not, wait for another year or so.