So, how was my 2011?

There’s something about the end of the year that always prompts me to look back and reflect on how it went.   I don’t think there’s much to regret but often I wonder where the days have gone and looking back through my diary helps me take stock of the year.

The IPhone has made us all a bit trigger happy, I think, where pictures are concerned and looking through my lot, I made this collage of pictures to sum up my year at a glance.

So, I have worked and played hard and made some head way in my yoga and meditation practice and in my swimming. I travelled quite extensively –from Doha to Tuscany to Hong Kong, Seoul, Indonesia and to India. I cooked and cleaned and gardened although my vegetable growing attempts can only garner only a C.  I borrowed and read over 100 books and magazines from NLB alone. I enjoyed many good concerts and trips to the museums and art galleries.  I lost some friends, made new ones, and caught up with old pals.  The bonus was meeting up with my Primary 1 classmate and my ex-colleague from NJC whom I have not seen for more than 25 years. Work was good- I was kept very busy this year but I must admit to enjoying the work, and the people I met, from teachers to parents and students.

Family and friends have made my year a meaningful one.  There was a new addition to the Cheah clan-nephew number 19! I lost a friend to cancer this year but celebrated the 60^th and 75^th birthdays of two others. Each day, I offer thanks for the blessings in my life and after my trip to India, this act takes on a greater significance.

My theme this year has been mindfulness and while I cannot say that I have been totally mindful, I have tried hard to be more focused with each thing I do.  As a result, I find myself enjoying my experiences so much more, from a day wandering around in the Botanic Gardens to a concert with the Singapore Elvis Presley to a nonsensical chat with Junior about our cat.  Occasionally, I still fret over the many things that I have not done yet, but on the whole, I am much better at experiencing and enjoying the now.

So, now that the year has gone, what have I learnt? These ten lessons I’ve learnt but they are not what I have mastered. I‘ve had more success with some than with others but then again, it only means that I will have no end of things to do and think about in the coming year.

My 10 lessons from 2011( not really in order of importance)

1. We can’t change others; we can only change ourselves.
   Changing myself is a challenging task but I know for a fact that this can be a wee bit easier than hoping for the other person to change. And if I can see another point of view, I may be able to avoid another unnecessary confrontation.
   
2. Do everything with love.
   I read a book recently-The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender- about a girl who, while eating, can experience the emotions of the person who was cooking the dish. Imagine if we can do that; a lot of food will taste awful I think. But, if we can do something with love, that chore turns into a pleasure and resentment transforms into simple happiness.
   
3. Choose to be happy.
   When someone annoys me or does something that bothers me, I can choose to be annoyed or upset or I can choose to be happy. I am trying more and more to choose to be happy and by doing so, I remove the source of annoyance too.
   
4. Love myself.
   My yoga teacher repeats this affirmation all the time but it took me a long time to understand this concept. I don’t think I am good at this still but I am beginning to see that everything I do begins with loving myself first. In a good way, I must add, and it’s not about self indulgence.
   
5. Focus on the now; live life in small doses.
   My father chose the Chinese word “now” as the middle name for all the girls to remind us to be in the now. Again not always an easy principle to follow but biting off what I can chew remains a good reminder to me during the times when I was gagging on some extra large chunks that I bit off.
   
6. Help others when I can and when I am able.
   Always, and I can do more.
   
7. Love is a verb; compassion must lead to an action.
   Talk is good but positive action is even better.
   
8. Think good thoughts.
   Don’t give in to worst case scenarios. Things are never the way I think they are>
   
9. Be grateful.
   Another daily affirmation for me. This includes gratitude for fresh air, clean water, a peaceful life and freedom to take a walk anywhere, at any time.
   
10.  Let it go.
    Don’t hang on to things, to people, to past experiences. Let them all go. Slowly.

So what’s ahead in 2012? I think I want it to be a year where I will make a start at doing the things I want to do in two years’ time when I am 60. Waiting till I am 60 to do them will be a bit late I think, so some part of my routine will be devoted to some new activities.  Perhaps that will mean less work but that’s OK. I need to work less anyway. I am often reminded by the saying that no one, on their death bed, ever regrets not doing more work.  

And even as I get ready for the New Year, I am reminded by Abe Lincoln that

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

I hope to put more life into my year in 2012. May you also find the good life in the year to come.