A Fish Funeral and Helping Kids to Write

I don’t know if I can describe Junior as a good or a keen writer. Like many boys, he does not really enjoy writing but he cannot avoid it. And when he has to write, the best writing that he has done is always when he does it with conviction and when he has a clear message to communicate. Now as an adult student, I often remind him that his best writing is often accompanied by a convincing voice.

But when he was a child, I did try many ways to get him interested in writing. The most significant thing I did was to read to him and to help him develop a love for reading.  I do believe that reading is a way into writing because books are good models for young writers to see what they themselves can do. I don’t think children will know about writing or be interested in writing if they did not read themselves.

My earliest memory of writing with Junior was when he was around two years old. One fine summer day in California, we had left home for a day trip. When we got home, Junior dashed into the kitchen to check up on his pets, two goldfish named Huckle and Happy.  They lived in a fishbowl and Mum was supposed to clean it and change the water periodically. Maybe she was too busy that week and did not change the water. Maybe the day was just too hot, as Californian summers can be.  But when Junior looked into the fishbowl, Huckle and Happy were both floating upside down. Junior was of course devastated, and I felt more than a bit guilty.

Finally, I helped him organise a fish funeral. We buried both fish in the garden and placed a small rock on top to mark the grave. Junior insisted on writing their names on the rock which I did with a marker pen. It consoled him a little but before long, he was sobbing again. It was then that I hit upon the idea of writing a story about the fish. I told him that this will help him remember the fish. As we talked through the story, I wrote down the words for him. I helped Junior to see himself as a loving fish dad and recalled all the fun things he did with the fish. The truth is that I could not tell one fish from the other but perhaps Junior did.  But writing down the stories helped Junior to see that writing can do many things among which is to help us remember, to record memories and events and even to solve problems.  

In later years, I continued to help Junior write, but I did not make him write on his own. Instead, I often supported his attempts by doing dictated writing with him. This was when he made up his stories, dictated them to me and I wrote them down for him. We often wrote new versions of the books he read in school, such as “To Town” or “The Jigaree”. We had a whole series of stories based on “The Adventures of the Three Tum Tees” and about the dastardly deeds of one Captain Terror who was hell bent on destroying the world, especially Marine Parade, where we were living then.  

After a story was written, we would read the story over again and he would draw some pictures and make his story into a booklet, which he then tried to sell to his doting grandparents. He had the makings of an entrepreneur even then. We did a fair amount of writing on the computer using various programs to make books.  We wrote poetry too and here's one from his primary school days. I won’t say that it's a great poem but for a little kid, I think that it was great that he had something to say and was willing to write it down.

Junior's Collection of Poems

Often, my focus was to help him see that writing is one way to help him think and to record ideas. This sneaking mum did not hesitate to introduce writing into the most mundane activities. So Junior’s trip to the supermarket was often accompanied by a shopping list that he had to make out. And if he wanted a new toy or a special toy, he needed to write down a list of reasons to convince me to buy it for him. Unfortunately, the one list I still have was written in pencil and could not be read when scanned but here are some of his reasons:

Why I like Action Pack II

 Because it has an injured man

It has an apc and a ship

One man has a stinger missille

 It has a jeep and two planes

It has a bazooker

There is a medica man

There is a radio man

 It has a grenade

Was I then successful in initiating him into the joys of writing? I don’t know. It’s still too early to tell. But he is a prolific list maker. I myself did not enjoy writing as a youth and did not write regularly until I was in my forties.

I came across this interesting and useful article from a homeschooling mum on how she helped her child to write. She has some very firm convictions about what should be done, some of which we, as non-native speakers in English, may disagree with. Read it here and see what you think.

In the end, I believe that setting an example is important. If you want your child to be a writer, try to be one yourself. Help your child to see a reason for writing and take it beyond getting a good grade for composition. Having a personal meaning and use for writing are very essential first steps towards developing an interest in writing.