Theme for 2011

It was New Year’s Day; we had gone for a long morning walk along the Macpherson park connector all the way towards Kallang River and had stopped at Bendemeer Road. We then decided to take a taxi to Serangoon Road for some breakfast. During the short trip, my husband’s phone fell out of his pocket and was left behind in the back seat of the taxi. Although we did the necessary reporting, we lost all hope of finding it by the time we reached home. That was not a good start to 2011. But everything happens for a reason, and my husband philosophically said that the lesson for him is not to be so attached to material things. Still, like all good lessons, there was a sting to it.

Later, I tried to imagine what the person who took the phone was doing with it. He (could be a she of course, but for convenience, I’ll say he) must be thrilled because it is a fairly new top of the range IPhone with some neat apps including Angry Birds. My husband had devoted days to reaching level 4 of the game. The person must also be looking at his pictures since my husband took many pictures with a new photo app, and the many parties we had offered numerous photo opportunities. And the person must think that he has had a great start to 2011 since he made such a good find. Ah well, I thought, maybe he needed the phone more than my husband.

But the incident reminded me of the time a snatch thief on a motorbike drove by my trishaw in Hanoi, and took away my purse with my hand phone in it. After a small tug of war, the strap broke, and he calmly drove off while we looked on helplessly. There was nothing to be done but to head on to our destination and do the necessary calls to cancel the credit cards etc. My husband congratulated me for being so calm but what else could I do? Again, I thought of the man going through the things in my little travel purse, and then laughing at the photos in my phone and listening to my eclectic selection of songs. I did feel a sense of loss but I told myself then that he probably needed it more than I did. It was his lucky day. Still, Hanoi left a bad taste in my mouth although my faith was restored when a Vietnamese woman I met went out of her way to help me filed a police report.

But the New Year loss left me thinking about my attitude to things and to life. I was a bit upset initially at my husband’s carelessness. But then I reminded myself that my husband is rarely careless. It’s just one of life’s unfortunate and random incidents. But is the lesson really about attachment? If that’s the case, maybe he should not have a new phone after this but to reuse his old phone. And if our family belief is really people first, then money, and then things, an IPhone is but a thing and not that important in life’s big scheme. Even after such careful rationalising, the loss was upsetting.

I pondered over this for a long while because I have also been thinking about what my one-word theme for 2011 would be. For those of you curious about this, you can visit this website to find out more about New Year themes. I have always tried to live by these beliefs: to be mindful, to care, and to focus on the now. This loss is a reminder that I need to pay more attention to my beliefs. True, I was not the one to lose the phone, but the lesson is equally applicable to me. So, if I were to summarise my one word theme for 2011, it has to be mindful.

When I am mindful, I won’t be careless with things, people and with words and actions. When I am mindful, I won’t indulge in unnecessary eating, shopping, and am apt to be less idle. When I am mindful, I am better able to regulate my emotions, thus avoiding getting angry, upset or agitated over small things. Being mindful will also lead me to a calmer frame of mind, and being calm was one of the themes I contemplated selecting. Being mindful will also help me let go of stuff, of old grudges, of old relationships that have for a long time been going nowhere and of work that I no longer care for. Letting go was another possible theme for me in 2011 and in particular, I wanted to let go of friendships that have stopped growing. I have long been able to let go of material things although I also contemplated reducing as a theme in an effort to cut down on physical clutter and material things. I was able to chuck out a whole lot of papers and books just before Christmas in a spring cleaning attempt and that has been invigorating. I considered nurturing too as a theme although I see it as the natural outcome of letting go, especially of old grudges. I want to be able to nurture and cultivate better relationships in my life so giving was yet another option.

I found this exercise very helpful and when I finally settled for mindfulness, I did wonder if I was opting for the safe and familiar. Perhaps I should explore and wander into new paths for 2011. Whatever it is, a theme does not need to tie me down.

Looking back, 2010 has been a busy but good year. I’ve enjoyed the work, have travelled extensively (USA, France, Malaysia, China, the Philippines, and Indonesia) and have embarked on teaching beginning yoga and briefly, on leading my yoga group. I have been good about exercise, particularly yoga and have made some progress in my meditation. I haven’t gained excess weight, I have taken time out for friends and family and I’ve contributed my services to the community. At home, my husband and I continue to share our life together meaningfully. I feel a better connection with Junior and while there are many things I still ask of him (and mothers will have no end of things they ask of their kids) I feel I am at a better place with him than before. I did, on occasions, lose my cool, but by and large I was able to let go of bad feelings and focus on the positive.

Still, I wonder about 2011. It seems that I need to do more although at my age, I should contemplate conserving my energies. That’s something to mull over this year.

What about you? How was your year and what will 2011 be like for you? Take a little time and take stock of your life. Make a plan and a goal for 2011. But whatever it is, here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead. It’s another chance to make a new start.